20 things I know for sure at 20.

20 years on planet earth and there has been nothing but real value to each experience I’ve had. Who knew that 2 decades would bring such profound lessons? Read this and you’d probably see what I mean.

1. You will always be enough. Your worth is so deeply ingrained in your natural DNA and your failure to see it is a choice you are making. You are a soul of divine origins with absolutely nothing to prove. Have fun😊

2. You are more than the sum of how others see you. You are the kind actions you do when they will not be rewarded, you are who you love when it isn’t acknowledged. You are more than where you are right now. You are more than what hurt you. You are more than you could possibly understand and what you show the world is just a small part of it.

3. You don’t have to be particularly special to be loved. Authenticity is the only avenue for true connection, being unapologetic about who you are will attract a tribe that is made from the same star dust.

4. Comparison does nothing for you. No honestly, think about it, effective comparison means that two things have started from the same baseline and at the very least operated in the same conditions, which could never be true about two people’s lives. Also, its one thing to assume that someone is happy with their life, but it’s another thing to imagine that you would be happy if placed in their shoes. You are allowed to look up, but only for inspiration.

5. Trying to win people over is a losing game. The idea that you can contort your personality to be liked by everyone you meet, takes away authenticity which is the foundation for likability. Influence over impression always.

6. We are all doing life for the first time. Odds are that you are actually a good person. You may make mistakes, you may do bad things or even hurt people, but it’s these things put together that make you a human being. So when you choose to pass self-criticism, remember to look at yourself in totality. Then you will realize that you are actually more resilient than you give yourself credit for. You got this.

7. We don’t have agency over people’s love. Truth is, in as much as relationships make life so beautiful, we can never put human beings in a box. We cannot make them ours. They are their own person, and their journey diverging is not the end of the world. Our wishes cannot be theirs.

8. Externalizing your sources of happiness may only make you more unhappy. All I’m saying is that you are more complete than you think, maybe not completely self-reliant but you’re capable of being happy on your own. Trust yourself love.

9. People are who they are because they are who they are. Truth is, how people perceive life, their judgements, their assumptions, are all unique to them. Sometimes, it really has nothing to do with you. It’s really not personal, so don’t ascribe intent.

10. Show up for your tribe. Part of having relationships is making sacrifices to show up, be there and spend time with your loved one. Relationships are not built on perceived worth; they are built on sharing experiences. Love is a verb and life is too.

11. Healing sometimes means acceptance. Accepting that you are worthy of good things, accepting that you did your best and sometimes, even accepting that you are collateral damage in people’s battles with themselves, but that does not mean that you have to take up their armor.

12. You will never heal your way out of being human. No matter how much you heal, you still remain imperfect, yet so perfectly flawed.

13. Aloneness does not mean you’re lonely. The universe will always grant you opportunities to be alone, but that does not translate to loneliness. You will always be a part of every place you’ve been and every person you’ve met. A moment of aloneness is only to help you not to be a stranger to yourself.

14. Self- care is not selfish. Take yourself on cute dates, get that manicure and most importantly surround yourself with the right people. You deserve it baby!!

15. Your emotions exist in a spectrum. Sometimes you will be so happy and other times, you will feel like shit and there will be no way to rationalize what your feeling to bring you back to the state of calm. Its all part of the experience.

16. Be kind. Y’all know that if I had a mantra, this would be it. Life would be so much easier if we were all kind. To each other and most importantly to ourselves.

17. It is absolutely impossible to imagine how another person sees you, most times it’s a projection of how you see yourself. No one is evaluating you at least not to the extent that you think they are. Yes, the case in point is those cringeworthy moments.

18. The only person looking back at you in the mirror is you. As much as this social media age makes you feel like every attempt at success means your piecing together a message for the world about who you are and how well you’re doing, at the end of the day you’re only accountable to yourself and the few that love you.

19. Love will find you when its supposed to and when it does, it won’t be a wager or a bid for future gains, but most importantly you have to believe that you are worth loving.

20. The cracks are all a part of the design. So guess who has been a master piece all along? Damn right!!